5 COMMON MISTAKES THAT INDIAN PARENTS MAKE
Parenting is a huge responsibility. It is somewhat easier to become parents but it is tough to become good or perfect parents. Parenting/Nurturing is one of the most challenging roles.
Parenting is a lot about love, emotions, care, sacrifices, and less me- time. But before all these things, it’s about building a character, setting examples, positiveness, and making your children self-sufficient and an independent human being who is in charge of himself and not dependent on any other person, not even you.
Living in a typical Indian society and closely observing the parents around me, I feel that there are certain things that Indian parents are actually doing wrong. Whatever their intention is, but the end results are not good for their kids and also for themselves.
1. Overcaring and over-protective
It is natural to go through the ocean of emotions after being a parent, but instead of just flowing, sometimes we need to control these emotions.
Love, care, and protection are important for children, but not to the extent that these throttle individuality and skills of self-reliance and a sense of responsibility. Extra love and extra care are actually hindering their positive development.
Providing resources and fulfilling the needs of your child till he crosses his teenage is okay but at the same time, we should teach our child that parents are just his nurturer and they will guide them whenever needed but they are not responsible for all his needs and deeds.
Parents should never support the unnecessary needs and demands of their children, even if they are capable of providing them all.
2. Making them dependent on you
We have seen our parents burdened with difficulties from an early age, whether it is the maintenance of the house or earning for themselves, our parents planned on giving us a much-privileged life. So no matter the means, they made sure that their beloved children don’t have to work around as much.
They sheltered us from all the difficulties. From things like waking up early to prepare our tiffins to get our uniform ready by the time we get that one extra hour of sleep, they’ve done it all. Now, we don’t know what really goes behind getting things like food and clothes ready. We’ve never done it before.
This is perhaps their biggest mistake, not even letting your children know your difficulties and struggles. Children are actually just other human beings and they need to be taught each and every basic thing/chore. Now here, gender should not be the constraint. This is for both son and daughter.
Parents should involve their children in household chores and should teach them things like cooking, laundry, cleaning, dishwashing, money management (of course to their level).
Children should be taught right from the small age that life has its own set of struggles and everyone has to work to move on this path. Things like electricity bills, grocery bills, milk, newspaper, and TV bill, etc, should be in their knowledge so that they can learn and see what all it takes to run a family.
Everyone is sufficient to take care of their children throughout their lifetime, even a small bird. But still, that bird pushes her baby out of the nest, to encourage the baby bird to fly, to make her independent, and find her own food and path.
3. Over Indulgence
When children get unearned privileges and are fawned/shed upon by their parents, they develop a false sense of entitlement. They come to believe they are the center of their universe and expect instant gratification for every wish. Such children grow up to be self-centered individuals with no inter-personal skills. As a result, they are most likely to face challenges at work as well as in social and personal relationships.
If we want our children to be self-reliant, honest, and upwardly mobile adults, we must allow them the space to commit their own mistakes and pay for these even as children. It is only when they face obstacles that they learn their own strengths and weaknesses, and get the opportunity to adjust their learning and gain confidence.
Children must be allowed to go through and deal with all these experiences with some guidance. Good and bad, these mixed experiences make them learn and help them to improve.
Make your children feel loved, but also teach them to be loving and caring; make them feel secure and protected, but also to be independent and self-reliant. Indulge them, but also ensure they know that the love and care they receive must translate to responsibility and humanity. Teach your children, the value of money not because you do not have enough, but because someday the child may bless you for that learning.
Challenge your child and try pushing your child out of his comfort zone. Children should be taught that life is a process of continually growing and personal learning and the importance of helping make this world, a better place.
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